New Years Kisses
*log into facebook*
everyone: new year,new me!
me: you're all cunts. 2 minutes isn't enough to change that.
Me: Why am I still single?
Brain: You're weird as shit, lol.
Body: And you're fat lmao.
Face: Plus you're pretty ugly too lmfao.
Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.